Where the Heok did the time Go?

Obviously it has been about two years since I posted on this bad boy.  I blame Facebook, it is easier for me

Move forward

Trying to remain optimistic in a roller coaster world. My emotions are up and down and sideways. So hard to do things. I feel like I'm walking in three feet of mud sometimes. But I get up brush it off and keep trying.

Keeping life intertesting

Just when I thought we were jumping out of the fire (first from the frying pan) and I am trying hard, but not very successfully to be optimistic. Victor has taken a new job at the same facility. I was very happy for him because it will take away so much stress from him. Today he told me he just got his schedule and then the rock dropped. He will be working from 2pm to 10pm. This is where i'm supposed to get excited! I'm still waiting......... This means he will be gone for all sporting practices unless he has days off in the week. Lets See how this sounds, the kids will get up for the first time in their lives and dad will be here, off they will go to school. When they get home from school and go to sports, do homework and go to bed while dad is at work and sleep while he sleeps. Sounds great so far don't it? The sun is shining in one spot if he gets up before I do and cooks them breakfast and makes them lunch, that will help a lot. I have some mental rearranging and juggling to do. I guess this is one of those times of "better or worse" that is part of marriage although in our orthodox ceremony the priest never actually said those words. I should go.... I think I need a Vente Crankectomy! Without my sour wit I would be lost.

Where did the summer go?

It just seems some summers go this way for one reason or another. This one was hard but we made. it. After being hospitalized, guiney pigged with meds life was getting back to some sort of normalcy/positivity. Then Vadim ran into our car and knocked himself out cold. He is fine thank god, but I'm not sure we won't make him wear a crash helmet when playing outside. I broke my toe, threw out my back. Sciatic nerve acting up medications making me haywire. Even with all of this I am looking forward and onward on what can I do to make the most of life. Some days are better, but I'm still here. Thank God!

Sometimes not!

Well I spent a week at Marin General in their Psyc ward because I was afraid my depression would cause me to hurt myself or others. It was helpful but it has been a hard first week at home. I am going to be going to an outpatient therepy three days a week and work with medications to see if it helps. God willing it will. Thanks for all your loving support.

Time heals all they say.......

Spent a week in the hospital because I needed some help. I was cutting up my arms and taking too much anxiety medicine. I became afraid to drive and my doctor and I decided to go into the hospital. It was helpful but I have a road to go. I need your continued help and prayers. I know how much they help. Thanks

Medicine making things worse not better

Today I go back to the Doctor to see if we can come up with a plan b. The Welbutrin isn't working for me so it's back to the drawing board. I have hacked up my arms when having a wicked anxiety attack. Crying all the time and want to lay in bed all day. The house is a mess and I just can't seem to get it together to do anything about it. I started making Vadims jungle blanket because I figured I should finish it before I die. I just feel helpless but not hopeless. Victor is so supportive but kids don't understand. Please pray for me. I want to enjoy my life again.