Move forward

Trying to remain optimistic in a roller coaster world. My emotions are up and down and sideways. So hard to do things. I feel like I'm walking in three feet of mud sometimes. But I get up brush it off and keep trying.

Keeping life intertesting

Just when I thought we were jumping out of the fire (first from the frying pan) and I am trying hard, but not very successfully to be optimistic. Victor has taken a new job at the same facility. I was very happy for him because it will take away so much stress from him. Today he told me he just got his schedule and then the rock dropped. He will be working from 2pm to 10pm. This is where i'm supposed to get excited! I'm still waiting......... This means he will be gone for all sporting practices unless he has days off in the week. Lets See how this sounds, the kids will get up for the first time in their lives and dad will be here, off they will go to school. When they get home from school and go to sports, do homework and go to bed while dad is at work and sleep while he sleeps. Sounds great so far don't it? The sun is shining in one spot if he gets up before I do and cooks them breakfast and makes them lunch, that will help a lot. I have some mental rearranging and juggling to do. I guess this is one of those times of "better or worse" that is part of marriage although in our orthodox ceremony the priest never actually said those words. I should go.... I think I need a Vente Crankectomy! Without my sour wit I would be lost.

Where did the summer go?

It just seems some summers go this way for one reason or another. This one was hard but we made. it. After being hospitalized, guiney pigged with meds life was getting back to some sort of normalcy/positivity. Then Vadim ran into our car and knocked himself out cold. He is fine thank god, but I'm not sure we won't make him wear a crash helmet when playing outside. I broke my toe, threw out my back. Sciatic nerve acting up medications making me haywire. Even with all of this I am looking forward and onward on what can I do to make the most of life. Some days are better, but I'm still here. Thank God!

Sometimes not!

Well I spent a week at Marin General in their Psyc ward because I was afraid my depression would cause me to hurt myself or others. It was helpful but it has been a hard first week at home. I am going to be going to an outpatient therepy three days a week and work with medications to see if it helps. God willing it will. Thanks for all your loving support.

Time heals all they say.......

Spent a week in the hospital because I needed some help. I was cutting up my arms and taking too much anxiety medicine. I became afraid to drive and my doctor and I decided to go into the hospital. It was helpful but I have a road to go. I need your continued help and prayers. I know how much they help. Thanks

Medicine making things worse not better

Today I go back to the Doctor to see if we can come up with a plan b. The Welbutrin isn't working for me so it's back to the drawing board. I have hacked up my arms when having a wicked anxiety attack. Crying all the time and want to lay in bed all day. The house is a mess and I just can't seem to get it together to do anything about it. I started making Vadims jungle blanket because I figured I should finish it before I die. I just feel helpless but not hopeless. Victor is so supportive but kids don't understand. Please pray for me. I want to enjoy my life again.

Weaning and Wailing

I have been working on weaning the baby for a week now. She is doing pretty well but sometimes just doesn't get why this is happening to her. I am taking the new medication and it is going slow but I am hopeful. It can't last forever right.......

Depression Sucks!

I have been dealing with depression for some time. For the last three pregnancies it has gotten harder and harder to battle. Everytime someone told me to stop breastfeeding and go on another medication I refused. I cannot refuse anymore. I have to stope nursing for the whole family's benefit. I am watching them fall apart around me and have to do something. So the nursing is over. Pray for us to get thru it.

And Another is Growing up and Reaching new stars!

Our beautiful Anastasia turned Eight on April 29th. She is smart and witty and has a wicked wicked laugh. She drives her older sisters nuts and her little brother nuts but Katrina thinks she is the bees knees. Who knows what delights she has in store for us but life is definately more interesting with her in it.

She also recently celebrated first commonion with her class. Receiving a blessing as she is not Catholic but Russian Orthodox so she received first communion when she was baptized.

They Tell you Time Flies but How did this Happen

On April 24th my oldest child turned 13. Sasha is a lovely, sensative and intelligent girl. She can tell you amazing things. She knows so much about so many things. She is Laryssa's best reference for her Greek report. The time has gone by so quickly but I love the person she is and is becoming. Great things are coming her way!

Happy Birthday Little Girl

To my sweet Katrina (Kitty Girl). You are such a sweet bundle of love. Our world would not be complete without you. Just look how much you've grown this year. We love you love you love you!

Daze in the Arizona Sunshine

We had a good visit with Mom in Arizona and the kids had a great time. I don't seem to have pictures of Zara. I'll have to fix that.

Unloaded or Loaded

My kids say I am not allowed to shop on vacation or I must be strictly monitered. I will not include a picture of the packed car or the contents of said car in the formerly clean living room. Suffice to say, I will be picking it up for the next week and doing more evil laundry. I sure am glad to be home though.

Time for Travel

Spring break cometh for the Turkan Tribe. We are intrepidly heading to Arizona by car with eight people. Thank goodness for technology. Movies, I pods etc. I don't know how I survived reading books and looking at the scenery. It might kill them but it will be fun to watch. Please pray for our safe Journey and Happy Easter to all.

Growing and Going

Okay, I confess I show favoritism for photos of Katrina. She is changing every day so much. Love this little getting ready for her bath picture. She is such a happy baby and we all are so much in love with her.

More Pictures

I didn't have enough room.

New Pictures of Kidletts

Here are some new pictures of the babies and stuff. Sorry not feeling too verbose these days.

Two front teeth anyone

All she wanted for Christmas was her two front teeth but Katrina got her new ones before Anastasia got her Permanent ones.