Just when you think your right......... your not!

I have wondered and fantasized about how life would be with out my Mother in Law. I just knew everything would be suddenly perfect... it isn't. It is not bad or good it is different. It was my life for almost 11 years. I have lived with her, with the exception of the first five days of my daughters life, for all my Mothering years. I feel light some days without the heavy burden of caring for her and the struggles we had. I feel empty somedays and am surprised when she isn't in her room. Which is now a pre-teen haven complete with mess and ucky teen idol posters. We went to visit the cemetary for the first time Sunday and it was so strange. She wasn't there, she couldn't be there. I felt so conflicted and odd. When we leave the house I still think we are leaving her alone and I should have someone staying with her. I cannot change what is. I can only learn.

Costco

I love Costco but I hate putting everything away.

I hear music

I witnessed a miracle last night. Our entire family sat down in pj's and watched a movie together. We watched Finneans Rainbow with Fred Astair and Petula Clark. My husband even stayed awake for more than half of it and he doesn't watch musicals. We even let the kids eat ice cream in the living room! It was wonderful. I can't wait until next Saturday. I will make sure we have the red vines and milk duds.

Channeling Erma Bombeck

My morning could have been in a book written by the late, funny Erma Bombeck. A day that starts this awful should make a heck of a funny book. We got up to get ready for school. Our cleaning lady comes at 7 on Thursdays. She lets me know while I am dressing that the dog has poo pood all over the floor in the living room. I'm thinking why me why today? I get the kids ready, the ones that are not sick and get the others medicated and off I go to school to do the first drop off. I come home and sit in the car reading trying to avoid what I know is waiting for me in the living room. The kids that stayed home come to the car looking for me. I have to go in. It's still there waiting for me. I clean it up and manage delicate gagging rather than throwing up. Then I can't find the carpet cleaner. This can only happen to me. I figure out where Victor has hidden it and get to work. I hadn't cleaned it out last time I used it a week ago so it smelled precious. More delicate gagging. I have to get lunches for the kids at school and be there to volunteer in Kindergarten by 10. I clean it all up. Then the baby needs the same clean up as isle 13,dogpoop lane). He is only a little more cooperative. Vadim has a fever so I get to wrestle him to get the motrindown him. It takes two of us. I nurse him almost to sleep and then run for the school. I can relax now I will be safe ....... working with 20 five year olds. It was fun and relaxing and they were pretty well behaved. If it doesn't kill you It might make a great book.