Just when you think your right......... your not!

I have wondered and fantasized about how life would be with out my Mother in Law. I just knew everything would be suddenly perfect... it isn't. It is not bad or good it is different. It was my life for almost 11 years. I have lived with her, with the exception of the first five days of my daughters life, for all my Mothering years. I feel light some days without the heavy burden of caring for her and the struggles we had. I feel empty somedays and am surprised when she isn't in her room. Which is now a pre-teen haven complete with mess and ucky teen idol posters. We went to visit the cemetary for the first time Sunday and it was so strange. She wasn't there, she couldn't be there. I felt so conflicted and odd. When we leave the house I still think we are leaving her alone and I should have someone staying with her. I cannot change what is. I can only learn.